Backup software doesn't show my hard drive to back up to

(This question was originally posed to a co-worker who asked me to write the script for it. I am posting it here so others can find the solution as well.)
Question:

My backup software is not showing my hard drive as a valid source or destination for backups. I can see them in "My Computer" but my doesn't see them. What gives? 

Answer: 

Hey there, Anon.
It sounds like your LDM (Logical Disk Manager) is not reporting to your backup software. You may need to reinstall Windows Management Instrumentation (WMI). This process is not as simple as it may seem, however, so we've provided a modified batch script which you can run, in order to perform the re-installation for you.
(See below)

PLEASE ADVISE, MOST APPRECIATIVE

The following is an unedited email, and my response...

Question:

"hello tim, N reading today on how can i fix mi 3yr ole neva used cpu, notice your talent & willingness of your free time to help mankind, paitent enough for your advise & recommendations my machine is a noname brand with motherboard asus model p4s8x-mx motherboard revision is 1.03 & bios revision is 0808, POST error msg. is overclocking failure . I cannot access bios because of power turns off automatically......trying to reset bios back to default settings , any suggestion PLEASE ADVISE , MOST APPRECIATIVE "

Response: 

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??

The only thing I got out of your e-mail was "overclocking failure", so I'm going to respond to that. More information (preferably in English) would be helpful. For instance... Have you overclocked your processor? This error can be thrown out from HDD failures as well as RAM issues, so it doesn't necessarily mean the problem is due to overclocking, especially if you haven't actually overclocked anything.

On ASUS, if it were overclocked, this message would generally trigger a BIOS reset, so I'm assuming it's not an overclocked machine and you just forgot to mention that. In that case, try and get into DOS (Bart PE?) and do memtest and chkdsk.

--I don't make a habit of being rude to people who write to me for support, but this was completely un-readable and provides no helpful information that I could decipher.

How to get "Show Desktop" icon?

Question:

"Tim, 


I have a quick question for you. I am running XP and I accidentally deleted my "Show Desktop" shortcut that is normally in my quick launch toolbar. I use this icon very frequently, and for the life of me, I can't figure out how to get it back. I even asked Google, and found nothing. Can you help?"

An alternate form of this question which I got a couple of weeks ago is:

"I have Windows 7, and I don't like having the "Shot Desktop" button be all the way over there on the right, and so small. How can I make a Show Desktop link, like I had in XP?"

I am sick of all this spam! Help!

Question:

"Tim, 


I have used the e-mail address provided by my ISP for years, and have been battling an ever more daunting tsunami of tspam, since the day I began! Finally, it has become too much! I'm dumping my ISP's e-mail, and I'm going to make a new one... but I don't want to lose touch with any of my friends. 
How can I make sure that my new inbox stays free of spam, and that my old friends can still get a hold of me?"

Click "Read more" to see the answer.

My computer catches fire, and Facebook is trying to kill me.

This question/answer was obviously a joke, but just for laughs, I responded anyway.

Click "read more" to see the whole thing.

Question:

Dearest Timmeh:

Every time I start my computer it catches fire. Then silver haired monkeys jump out and travel back in time and try to abort my great-grandfather while my great-grandmother is making coon skin hats for my uncles.

"Application failed to initialize properly" (0xc0000005 & 0xc0000022)

 Problem:

Hey Tim!
[...]Here's my issue: I am using Windows XP. SP2, and I keep getting this error message that application failed to initialize properly (0xc0000022). lots of programs on my computer are failing to open! i cant open my antivirus either to check if its a virus but i dont think ive downloaded anything recently...
[...]the problem happens with lots of different programs including "uistub.exe" when i try to open my ****** antivirus, ccapp.exe, oscheck.exe, pifsvc.exe, etc etc etc. [...] what do i do!?!?

-Anonymous

Solution: 

Hello Anon; Thank you for providing the 0x***... error code!
There are two common reasons for the manifestation of this problem. One is a particular issue with a Microsoft patch that occurs only in XP SP2 (which leads me to believe that this is likely your issue since you have XP SP2) - and the other is a particular virus. Luckily, I think I have a solution for both.

Click "Read more" for the solution!

Something is slowing down my computer...

This question was asked on a forum, and I was going to write my response there, but I thought I ought to post an update anyway; so I'm replying here.

Problem:

"I was using my laptop last night and it started to go slow so i restarted.
When i turned it back on it was extremely slow and pretty much unresponsive.
When i go to the control panel it says that the cpu usage is 100%
i didnt download anythinbg and i wasnt watching porn when this happened.
I have windows xp btw."

Response:

If your CPU usage is at 100%, that means that a process is eating up all your processor cycles, so nothing else can do anything.
I won't be able to diagnose this problem fully without more information, so let's start with figuring out what process is using all that CPU time.

• Step 1:Press CTRL+SHIFT+ESC to open Task Manager
• Step 2: Click on the "Processes" tab.
  
• Step 3: Just below the list of running processes, you'll see a check-box, labeled "Show processes from all users". Check that box. (You may need to accept a UAC prompt, if you're using Vista or Windows 7. Click continue if it prompts you.)
• Step 4: Just above the list of running processes, you'll see the title row. Above each column, you'll see "Image Name", "User Name", and so on. Click on the column label: "CPU" so that it's sorted by HIGHEST CPU usage. (You may have to click twice).
  
• Step 5: You may see that it jumps between several processes using the most processor time. Write down the information in the "Image Name" column for processes that seem to be on the top the most, and also write down, on average, how much CPU they're using (The value under the CPU column). 

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When I am available, you can chat with me directly and ask any quick questions you have, right through the website, without having to wait for me to return your voicemail, or email.
Type in the window to the right of this page, to get in touch with me directly.

Chkdsk keeps running every time I restart my computer

From a forum user;

Problem:

On XP pro 32 bit, I un-installed some programs, and now chkdsk runs every time I restart the computer.

Explanation:

Click below to see a long explanation

When you do a chkdsk and ask it to “/f” or “/r”, it should state that it needs to un-mount the drive to do a chkdsk unless it's in read-only mode (That means no /fixing or /repairing) - It asks you if you want to do it after reboot. If you say yes, it switches around the bootexecute value in your registry, under “HKLM\system\currentcontrolset\control\session manager”. (We’ll be getting back to the bootexecute value at the bottom of the article.)

This change (on the next reboot), calls a program just like chkdsk but that operates earlier in the boot-up and doesn't require windows be loaded. This module is called autochk.exe, and it is what's responsible for un-mounting and scanning the drive before you boot up. This also happens when a drive is found to be “dirty” by the system.

When you say "yes, do this on my next reboot" by typing “Y” and pressing enter when chkdsk asks you, you're basically 'marking' the drive as 'dirty' manually. This is what calls autochk.

(NOTE: Autochk, unlike chkdsk, can't write to the system logs directly because windows hasn't booted up yet, so it will instead wait until it's finished and write a log file to the root of the C: drive, which is then written into the application event logs by winlogon.exe - so if you want to see the resultant logs of an autochk scan, look in the error logs for any entries made by winlogon.exe)

The command (the context of which I'll research whilst I type this sentence... done!) to UN-mark the drive as "dirty" is "chkntfs":
So here's what you do...

Solution:

First, you need to open a command prompt with Administrative privileges.
-In xp, simply click the start menu, then RUN, then type "cmd" and hit enter.
-In Vista and 7, click the start menu, then type “cmd”. Right-click the icon at the top of the search field, and click “Run as Administrator”, then accept the user account control prompt.
Once you’ve got command prompt open, just type one of these commands (in bold, below) depending on what you’d like to do. (Click "Read more" for more information.)

Sound, Power, and/or Network icon disappeared from my system tray.

From anonymous user. This was a unique problem, with an interesting solution. It’s never the first thing you’d think!
Problem:

“The system tray will not show standard system icons for volume, network, and/or power. Standard troubleshooting has failed me! Please, Tim’s Tech Tips, help me! (64-bit Vista Home Premium, all updated completed.)”

Attempt #1:

Let’s try this first – Simply right-click on a blank area of the taskbar, and then click on Properties. Once there, look to the bottom of that window. Do you see the check-boxes for the icons you’re  missing?

Response:

“That was the first place I checked, but in that window, all of the check-boxes are grayed out (pic attached). I’ve checked audio settings and everything, in control panel… no luck! :-(“

Click "Read More" for the continuation